you're the sun, stars, the oceans
you're just a girl
I would sweat through each night of September. I could barely sleep at all, too much anxiety and confusion. I'd arrive at work an hour early to spend a little time on the phone with O because my internet at home wasn't yet connected. Who needed sleep at that point? Andria sent some paints towards the end of the month and I had a chance to play around a bit on the nights when I couldn't understand the television and my head was too jumbled for much else.
October came quietly. The turn of the calendar was an unexpected relief from the heat of the previous month. Life at work became very difficult and I came close to losing it all. I remember that month being very dark for me. It was a time when I looked to the people around me for support and found much of what I needed. I learned how to fly under the radar and keep an eye down the hall for the boss. Duck into any open door if you see him coming. Just look busy. Now I've got it down. I wear my tie to work, show up on time, walk as fast as possible, and keep that exasperated look at all times.
November was a rush of getting ready to leave for India, being in India, and trying to pick up the pieces after India. I'd like to say it passed quickly but I know that in its own way, it was the hardest bit of time yet. It was the little things that killed me, especially the lack of connection when I was away. I found some other teachers in the same confusing place that I am and gained support from it. I realized when I came back to Fukuoka that I like this place a lot. It is a good place to live and I enjoy the people that surround me.
Oh December, you long hard bitch. It's been nice to have the holidays rushing up but I have counted each and every hour of this month.
In September I went to dinner with some friends and mentioned that I only had 100 days until I got to see Oriana again.
Recently those friends have told me that a flicker of doubt would pass before my eyes when I'd talk about the situation. Nothing obvious, just a subtle look that I would unconsciously give. I didn't notice it. Maybe they projected it onto me. Maybe I never thought it would happen.
Days turned into weeks and so it went.
Keep counting down...
It all melts away so quickly. The days on the phone, nights spent alone, miscommunication and time spent spinning the wheels, letters, postcards, packages, a sketch or painting, maybe a picture or two. I look over to the wall and see the stockings hung up next to my miniature Japanese Christmas tree and the little lights hung around the apartment. It all dissolves and I can only think that I have to wait a little bit longer to get exactly what I want.
We don't have any plans for the time. We have a car to use, friends to hang out with, wine to drink, but no plans. We'll stay up late, sleep in, walk around the city during the cold days, make dinner during the frigid nights, stay up late again.
Not much left to do now. The night is cold and I have a big glass of wine in front of me. Maybe just sit back, listen to music and look at the christmas lights for a little while.
Listen to this track. It's a remake of a New Year song that was done by Band of Horses. Click here.
One more lonely night.
October came quietly. The turn of the calendar was an unexpected relief from the heat of the previous month. Life at work became very difficult and I came close to losing it all. I remember that month being very dark for me. It was a time when I looked to the people around me for support and found much of what I needed. I learned how to fly under the radar and keep an eye down the hall for the boss. Duck into any open door if you see him coming. Just look busy. Now I've got it down. I wear my tie to work, show up on time, walk as fast as possible, and keep that exasperated look at all times.
November was a rush of getting ready to leave for India, being in India, and trying to pick up the pieces after India. I'd like to say it passed quickly but I know that in its own way, it was the hardest bit of time yet. It was the little things that killed me, especially the lack of connection when I was away. I found some other teachers in the same confusing place that I am and gained support from it. I realized when I came back to Fukuoka that I like this place a lot. It is a good place to live and I enjoy the people that surround me.
Oh December, you long hard bitch. It's been nice to have the holidays rushing up but I have counted each and every hour of this month.
In September I went to dinner with some friends and mentioned that I only had 100 days until I got to see Oriana again.
Recently those friends have told me that a flicker of doubt would pass before my eyes when I'd talk about the situation. Nothing obvious, just a subtle look that I would unconsciously give. I didn't notice it. Maybe they projected it onto me. Maybe I never thought it would happen.
Days turned into weeks and so it went.
Keep counting down...
It all melts away so quickly. The days on the phone, nights spent alone, miscommunication and time spent spinning the wheels, letters, postcards, packages, a sketch or painting, maybe a picture or two. I look over to the wall and see the stockings hung up next to my miniature Japanese Christmas tree and the little lights hung around the apartment. It all dissolves and I can only think that I have to wait a little bit longer to get exactly what I want.
We don't have any plans for the time. We have a car to use, friends to hang out with, wine to drink, but no plans. We'll stay up late, sleep in, walk around the city during the cold days, make dinner during the frigid nights, stay up late again.
Not much left to do now. The night is cold and I have a big glass of wine in front of me. Maybe just sit back, listen to music and look at the christmas lights for a little while.
Listen to this track. It's a remake of a New Year song that was done by Band of Horses. Click here.
One more lonely night.
Devin thought this was worth your time
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