something brilliant, of course
oh the pressure...
to come up with something brilliant, worthwhile, readable. not sucky.
well, here it goes, although I have a feeling that since I have nothing really to say, this may turn into a rambling sort of piece. you know, I'm really not pleased that you are leaving. I know that you have to (in a way you're already gone in your mind - "I don't care, I'm leaving the country") but that doesn't mean that I have to like it does it? Maybe I'm just jealous. And scared that you won't come back.
That having been said...
I am definitely in a strange place in my life. I find myself questioning myself - what I'm doing, where I'm going in life, that kind of thing. I know that I'm not really happy with what I'm doing for a living. Actually, I'm getting so sick of the people that I could just scream: "take some fucking responsibility for yourself, stop whining, stop being a victim, stop shooting dope, stop neglecting your children, stop being such a goddamn baby!!!" Oh, that's so not therapeutic!! I don't say those things (although, maybe I should), but I sure think them. Oh yes, I'm murdering them in my mind.
My parents were married, had children, had purchased a home by the time they were my age. I still ask them for money. Is that what I want to do with my life? I don't know. What I do know however, is that sometimes, I feel like I'm sleepwalking. Like I'm just waiting to wake up and start my life, but I don't know how. Am I under water? Am I wasting my time?
I get the urge sometimes to leave all of this - to get rid of my apartment, quit my job, get rid of my STUFF, and just...just what exactly? Join the circus, become a hobo, eat beans out of a can while I ride the rails? Move to South America, "go native" wear leather sandles and live in a hut, while suffering crippling bouts of dysentary and feverous Malaria spells??
Christie plans to move to Mexico in October. Puerto Vallarta actually. Maybe she can look up our old friend with the initials M.L. Christie - Another example of someone close to me taking a leap and doing something that they want to do. I begin then to ask myself: Is it that I am scared to "do what I really want to do?" Actually, it's much, much worse than that: I don't know what it is that I want to do. That is such a worse place to be. Others are moving forward, living their dreams, and I'm still asking myself: What do you want to do with your life? Time to figure it out - before it is too late and I've missed it all. I just don't want to be one of those people who regrets wasting their lives...
to come up with something brilliant, worthwhile, readable. not sucky.
well, here it goes, although I have a feeling that since I have nothing really to say, this may turn into a rambling sort of piece. you know, I'm really not pleased that you are leaving. I know that you have to (in a way you're already gone in your mind - "I don't care, I'm leaving the country") but that doesn't mean that I have to like it does it? Maybe I'm just jealous. And scared that you won't come back.
That having been said...
I am definitely in a strange place in my life. I find myself questioning myself - what I'm doing, where I'm going in life, that kind of thing. I know that I'm not really happy with what I'm doing for a living. Actually, I'm getting so sick of the people that I could just scream: "take some fucking responsibility for yourself, stop whining, stop being a victim, stop shooting dope, stop neglecting your children, stop being such a goddamn baby!!!" Oh, that's so not therapeutic!! I don't say those things (although, maybe I should), but I sure think them. Oh yes, I'm murdering them in my mind.
My parents were married, had children, had purchased a home by the time they were my age. I still ask them for money. Is that what I want to do with my life? I don't know. What I do know however, is that sometimes, I feel like I'm sleepwalking. Like I'm just waiting to wake up and start my life, but I don't know how. Am I under water? Am I wasting my time?
I get the urge sometimes to leave all of this - to get rid of my apartment, quit my job, get rid of my STUFF, and just...just what exactly? Join the circus, become a hobo, eat beans out of a can while I ride the rails? Move to South America, "go native" wear leather sandles and live in a hut, while suffering crippling bouts of dysentary and feverous Malaria spells??
Christie plans to move to Mexico in October. Puerto Vallarta actually. Maybe she can look up our old friend with the initials M.L. Christie - Another example of someone close to me taking a leap and doing something that they want to do. I begin then to ask myself: Is it that I am scared to "do what I really want to do?" Actually, it's much, much worse than that: I don't know what it is that I want to do. That is such a worse place to be. Others are moving forward, living their dreams, and I'm still asking myself: What do you want to do with your life? Time to figure it out - before it is too late and I've missed it all. I just don't want to be one of those people who regrets wasting their lives...
Anonymous thought this was worth your time
<< Home